I hated the taste, the lack of colour to the vegetable, the texture, the ordeal you go through when peeling back the layers. It was physically and emotionally draining to add it to any meal.
As some form of Hindu torture, my mom would make me cut up onions to add to whatever main dish we were preparing, as she loved onions and needed to have them by her side at all times. I was almost always happy to help because the notion of dicing onions is like forgetting the pain after experiencing child birth. Okay, maybe not to that extent of pain, but you forget how many tears you shed from your burning eyes while peeling back layer after layer. After layer. And then you just keep weeping.
This is much like the first time I had gone on a date, and not realizing that I was indeed, on one.
A few years ago, a friend and I had been house sitting, and were living in the house for a few weeks. One night, she and I were about to go see a movie with another friend. That friend decided to invite one of their friends along, someone who happened to be slightly socially awkward. Let us just refer to him as "The Awkward Boy" from here on out for leisure and privacy's sake. I didn't mind to invite him with us, because I am one to embrace awkward situations, and have a funny story to tell later.
.... I didn't quite realize that interacting with him, would turn out to be more than just a funny, awkward story, when I got stuck with him on the hour long drive to the movie theater...
My other two friends and I flipped a coin to see which one of us would join The Awkward Boy in his car to travel to the theatre. I had clearly, won the toss.
On our drive up, this boy had started to display nuances of his... interesting sense of humour. And when I say interesting, I mean morbid. We had witnessed a (bad) fender bender along the drive down the highway, in which his reaction was: "Wouldn't it be funny if (our friends) were in that car crash?"
Oh goodie, I was stuck in a car on the highway with a psychopath. I've always had such a dream.
Anyhow, we ended up reaching the theatre so late, that we couldn't get into the showing that our friends (who ended up getting there on time) were currently in. So, as a consolation, the boy and I decided to go grab a bite to eat at the local Boston Pizza, while waiting for our friends to get out of the movie.
During this dinner, conversation continued to devolve even more than I could have imagined.
Things were going okay for a little while, until he mentioned his weekly party habits, and started listing off the women with whom he had hooked up/tried to hook up, and was having issues with remaining eloquent about it. Thoughts were streaming through my head such as, "Yes, we know you're proud that you have an operational penis" and "Well, at least he thinks of me as his bro, with whom he could degrade other women". At this point, my fingers were tightening further around the fork on the table to shove into my eye socket. Or his.
Then he mentioned, "You know, this is the first proper date I have actually been on."
My response: "Excuse me?"
Him: "We're on a date, aren't we?"
Charleswhatnow? When did I miss that memo? I would have rather died a thousand deaths. Also the fork clutched tightly within my fist had moved it's intended direction from his eye to his groin. Subconsciously, of course.
As you could tell, I was in a bit of a quandary. Do I show my true feelings of disgust and contempt? Or do I keep it on the safe side and concede, as I am out with a potential psychopath? I decided to keep my safety in my best interests, and continued on with the dinner. Because I would at least get a free dinner out of all this, right?
Wrong. Try again, sucka.
At the end of our seemingly too long meal, I asked for the check. Upon receiving it, he said, "Oh by the way, I have no money, so can you pay for our dinner?"
OH MY GOD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I almost had an aneurysm at that moment. Wouldn't he have had the money to see the movie?
Although realizing that he was my ride back home, I again, bit my tongue and paid for the whole thing. I had solace in the fact that my night would soon be over and I would be in nice warm bed by myself with some tea.
We met briefly with our friends when they got out of the movie, and parted ways to get back to town again. The girl with whom I was house-sitting went with our mutual friend, and I braved another drive with Awkward Boy. I went on with the notion that things couldn't get worse.
Again, I was wrong, because of two factors that I could not control:
1) The highway had closed off for two hours at certain points during the night at the time because they were expanding it. The boy and I had got past the closure just before it started. Our friends who were just behind us did not make it past the closure.
2) The girl with whom I was house-sitting had the keys to the house. And she was in the other car. Stuck in the closure.
So, he ended up driving me back to the house and left me without offering to stay. When I say it in such light, I make it sound like he wasn't willing to accommodate my needs, but I was rather relieved when he left. In fact, I believe I insisted. For I realized that I would rather spend two hours during a chilly March night sitting in a rocking chair outside a locked house (with incessant barking from the dog in the backyard), than spend one more minute in that situation.
In all those cringe worthy details, there are some lessons to be learned here:
1) Always carry your own keys.
2) When going out with someone in general, you may or may not need to clarify whether or not it's a "date". Do this by either A) asking politely if you are on a date (if the guy is cute and doesn't seem like an axe-murderer - asking questions is always a thumbs up in dating anyways), or B) Loudly yelling out "THIS IS NOT A DATE" (if the guy looks like he may be carrying a weapon in his pocket, i.e: a machete. This will alert the public around you, and it's always good to have your surroundings be aware).
3) Bring a jacket with you, with some extra cash in the pocket in case this sort of situation arises. For example, if you need to cab back to your home in the next city, pack that extra one hundred dollars you had saved up for a Bora Bora vacation fund. Chances are you will never go.
Oh and be sure to pack a sense of humour along with it, stuffed in the opposite pocket. I needed mine.
Oh goodie, I was stuck in a car on the highway with a psychopath. I've always had such a dream.
Anyhow, we ended up reaching the theatre so late, that we couldn't get into the showing that our friends (who ended up getting there on time) were currently in. So, as a consolation, the boy and I decided to go grab a bite to eat at the local Boston Pizza, while waiting for our friends to get out of the movie.
During this dinner, conversation continued to devolve even more than I could have imagined.
Things were going okay for a little while, until he mentioned his weekly party habits, and started listing off the women with whom he had hooked up/tried to hook up, and was having issues with remaining eloquent about it. Thoughts were streaming through my head such as, "Yes, we know you're proud that you have an operational penis" and "Well, at least he thinks of me as his bro, with whom he could degrade other women". At this point, my fingers were tightening further around the fork on the table to shove into my eye socket. Or his.
Then he mentioned, "You know, this is the first proper date I have actually been on."
My response: "Excuse me?"
Him: "We're on a date, aren't we?"
Charleswhatnow? When did I miss that memo? I would have rather died a thousand deaths. Also the fork clutched tightly within my fist had moved it's intended direction from his eye to his groin. Subconsciously, of course.
As you could tell, I was in a bit of a quandary. Do I show my true feelings of disgust and contempt? Or do I keep it on the safe side and concede, as I am out with a potential psychopath? I decided to keep my safety in my best interests, and continued on with the dinner. Because I would at least get a free dinner out of all this, right?
Wrong. Try again, sucka.
At the end of our seemingly too long meal, I asked for the check. Upon receiving it, he said, "Oh by the way, I have no money, so can you pay for our dinner?"
OH MY GOD. ARE YOU KIDDING ME? I almost had an aneurysm at that moment. Wouldn't he have had the money to see the movie?
Although realizing that he was my ride back home, I again, bit my tongue and paid for the whole thing. I had solace in the fact that my night would soon be over and I would be in nice warm bed by myself with some tea.
We met briefly with our friends when they got out of the movie, and parted ways to get back to town again. The girl with whom I was house-sitting went with our mutual friend, and I braved another drive with Awkward Boy. I went on with the notion that things couldn't get worse.
Again, I was wrong, because of two factors that I could not control:
1) The highway had closed off for two hours at certain points during the night at the time because they were expanding it. The boy and I had got past the closure just before it started. Our friends who were just behind us did not make it past the closure.
2) The girl with whom I was house-sitting had the keys to the house. And she was in the other car. Stuck in the closure.
So, he ended up driving me back to the house and left me without offering to stay. When I say it in such light, I make it sound like he wasn't willing to accommodate my needs, but I was rather relieved when he left. In fact, I believe I insisted. For I realized that I would rather spend two hours during a chilly March night sitting in a rocking chair outside a locked house (with incessant barking from the dog in the backyard), than spend one more minute in that situation.
In all those cringe worthy details, there are some lessons to be learned here:
1) Always carry your own keys.
2) When going out with someone in general, you may or may not need to clarify whether or not it's a "date". Do this by either A) asking politely if you are on a date (if the guy is cute and doesn't seem like an axe-murderer - asking questions is always a thumbs up in dating anyways), or B) Loudly yelling out "THIS IS NOT A DATE" (if the guy looks like he may be carrying a weapon in his pocket, i.e: a machete. This will alert the public around you, and it's always good to have your surroundings be aware).
3) Bring a jacket with you, with some extra cash in the pocket in case this sort of situation arises. For example, if you need to cab back to your home in the next city, pack that extra one hundred dollars you had saved up for a Bora Bora vacation fund. Chances are you will never go.
Oh and be sure to pack a sense of humour along with it, stuffed in the opposite pocket. I needed mine.
