There was one instance very recently, in which I thought I had found some one who had potential.
Now in saying that, I am not necessarily insinuating that people in general don't have potential, it's just that often times it's not displayed properly. Or that it isn't displayed properly to me.
Anyhow on that dour note, I met someone who had potential. He seemed interesting and fairly well-read, but most of all, he was POLITE.
For those of you who know me personally, you have all heard my rant about public niceties and how the general population nowadays seems to be lacking in treating each other well. Just for the sake of being nice and well-meaning to someone. I mean, why not? What's the harm? Are you afraid that a nice gesture is going to just bounce off cold, dark hearts such as mine? Do you want to pass off as one of those brooding, sad-poet types, who has a heart of gold underneath? A heart that only people can access by wielding an ice-pick to your chest? Well stop, your shtick is done.
It's so simple, yet it seems like such an obscure action to be sincere.
Anyways, rant over. I am a hard woman to please, as clearly explicated in this blog.
In such fashion, I had high expectations from this person and he was meeting, possibly exceeding them. At least, he was at first. Let's list off the good signs:
1) In texts he was sending me, he would always ask me about my day, and ask specific details about what made it great or lacking. How thoughtful!
2) He spent a lot of time travelling in the last few months, and was excited to tell me about his humbling experiences (mainly his experience in India). Also, he wanted to talk to me about all the books he stumbled upon in his travels. That, right there my friends, is Jula cat-nip.
3) Before the date, he asked me if he could come pick me up, as he didn't want me to get rained upon while walking to the restaurant. I respectfully declined, but wow! I was at the point of thinking that people liked the wet-dog look on me.
And as an aside,
4) I had cut up my leg while shaving earlier that day, so I presumed that if something were to go wrong that night, it had to be that moment. So I threw on a Strawberry Shortcake band-aid and went on my way, head held high.
We met at the restaurant, a pretty little pizzeria in town. We sat down and started talking. Things were going well, but I noticed something as soon as the waitress approached us...
The nice, polite boy started treating our waitress like she was scum of the earth. That she was lower than the scum sitting on the earth's surface, in fact. I was dumbfounded. He didn't smile, or make eye-contact with her, and when she asked him if he wanted drinks, or to hear the specials, he just waved his hand away at her. I tried to make up for his gross ignorance by being my friendly, cheery self to our server, however it didn't warm the tone of our restaurant interactions.
At first, I tried to rationalize it as him being nervous and not acting truly as himself, but it became apparent that it just wasn't so. In speaking with him about his travels to India, the things that he focused on in our discussion was how different everything was for him (I'm sorry for being politically incorrect here, but that is a typical rich white-boy reaction when going to an Asian country. Pardon the pun, but talk about something different) AND started talking about "disgusting" habits people had when he was traversing through the slums ("like people spitting on the ground").
Really? Do you not see who is sitting in front of you? Does my brown look off-white to you? Like taupe, or something? DO YOU THINK PEOPLE HAVE FIVE-STAR HOTEL HABITS WHEN THEY LIVE IN A SLUM?
It became apparent to me that this person traveled to make him appear better and more astute than he actually was. The disappointment washed over me in crashing waves.
During the dinner, in which he described to me his one-dimensional world views, some slap-stick moments happened to me that if anyone else in the world had experienced while sitting in front of me, they would have at the very least started laughing nervously, or asked to take me to a hospital because I looked like I had been suffering from an aneurysm. However, to make things even more awkward, he continued blathering without taking any notice of what was happening to me. There is something to be said, when the person sitting in front of you is completely ignoring what's happening in front of them. Here are the instances:
1) I drank down my (fifth) cup of water too quickly and started to choke on my water. I recovered after a minute.
2) I spilled most of my pizza on to my lap and while trying to wipe out the stains from my dress, I accidentally punched the table with my knuckle. I yelped and cried in the inside.
3) I accidentally poured the entire bottle of chili flakes on to my pizza, and tried to rectify it by spreading it around the pie.. while eating it, there were silent tears streaming down my cheeks from all the heat (happening in the wrong place), and I am fairly certain the colour of my nose rivaled Rudolph-the-Red-Nosed-Reindeer.
And yet, still nothing.
Anyways, the date petered off from there. He complained about the food not coming fast enough and the server being daft (the food's arrival timing was impeccable, and our server was amazing, especially under the circumstances), and decided to not leave a tip. I left a generous tip just before we left.
I guess my hope to find someone chivalrous was nixed at this point. Perhaps finding someone polite isn't supposed to be at the forefront, rather than surrounding yourself with people who are just genuine. Surrounding yourself with people who are chivalrous because it's in their nature, rather than considering it a public service that one is confined to do. Keep those sincere people close, my friends. I, of course, keep you guys close.
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